You may be wondering why a therapist is asking you that. But if you are like most people, you think about money a lot. Are you under-earning or over-spending? Do you have a nice nest egg, but still spend more time than you would like worrying about unforeseen catastrophes?
Without thinking about it, what’s your first reaction to this question: Does money love you? If your answer was a resounding “Yes!” then read no further. If you answered otherwise, or if it just felt indecent to even ask such a question, I can help.
I’ve been there. I used think that if I made more than I needed to meet the most basic needs, I would cease being a good and ethical person. I was raised to believe that money corrupts and I took that lesson to heart and it ran my relationship to money. Every time I made more, something would happen to bring me back to my uncomfortable comfort zone again.
Everyone has their own story about money and worthiness. Maybe you feel like you would no longer belong to your community if you made more; maybe indebtedness connects you to your family; maybe fear is related to a real trauma you experienced. Maybe you don’t know what’s going on in the back of your mind, but whatever it is, you’re sick and tired of it.
You can change your relationship to money. The first step is to surface those negative stories and beliefs. The second is to actively and genuinely challenge them. The third step is to develop a positive, comfortable relationship with money. So next time someone asks you “How’s your money?” you just smile and say, “We’re good”.